Saturday, June 29, 2013
Baby food waste and compost
If you're going to try baby lead weaning or any kind of finger food with your kids, may I suggest composting? We have been composting for years now. If you have a yard, it's easy enough to get a plastic bin or make one out of chicken wire then just mix veg/fruit scraps with leaves/paper. And I have actually seen compost bins around our neighborhood in Montreal so it seems you could compost even if you don't have a yard. We almost virtually have no wet trash because of it. That is our trash is just packaging, etc. We recycle and compost which takes care of a lot of our waste. Everytime my little guy gums some fruit up and doesn't quite finish it, I feel just fine putting into our little compost bucket. Plus, next year, I'll add it to my little garden so I can show my babe how plants and food grows. It's the urban hippie in me.
A little sanity
My baby turns 8 months tomorrow. I feel like I am just coming out of a deep fog just in the last few days. I don't really want to write it in the blog because I don't want to jinx it but my baby slept for the most he ever has yesterday. He actually took 2 long naps. It really made me realize how parents who have kids who sleep have a completely different experience from those who have kids who don't sleep. I have never been so out of my mind with exhaustion. My husband and I have basically never fought until sleep deprivation entered. We were teetering at moments. It was sad and unbelievable. I had no energy for myself or for others. And I am not saying that 2 days of better sleep made that all okay, but I want to remember and recognize the challenge that it was. 8 months of practically no sleep. With a little more sleep, I feel like I can be a better wife and mom. There have been 2 nights recently where I basically didn't sleep, one night bc of my husband's insomnia and the other because of my own. The whole night I probably got may be 2-3 hours of patchworked sleep but the sad thing is that I didn't feel any different the next day. My body and mind are so used to this new state of exhaustion, well new as in 8 months old. Sleep is just so important.
I have been doing the single mamahood thing while my husband is away on business and it's certainly been a challenge. The first 2 weeks away my baby decided to get up at 4am everyday-brutal. And then his naps were only 35 mins long so I could never catch up on my own sleep. It was hard to take care of him, the house, the dog, all on my own. But I am so grateful that my husband is behind the scenes doing stuff we need to get done and that he is also returning soon. My mom was a single mom and although my dad passed when we were a bit older, I am amazed at all she did. I didn't need to become a mom myself to realize how awesome she was and all she did for us. I knew it everyday.
It's nearly unfathomable how much love you have for your baby. I actually tell him that I think he got cuter from the time he went to bed until the time he woke up. I am so glad this experience is part of my story. This love is part of me.
I have been doing the single mamahood thing while my husband is away on business and it's certainly been a challenge. The first 2 weeks away my baby decided to get up at 4am everyday-brutal. And then his naps were only 35 mins long so I could never catch up on my own sleep. It was hard to take care of him, the house, the dog, all on my own. But I am so grateful that my husband is behind the scenes doing stuff we need to get done and that he is also returning soon. My mom was a single mom and although my dad passed when we were a bit older, I am amazed at all she did. I didn't need to become a mom myself to realize how awesome she was and all she did for us. I knew it everyday.
It's nearly unfathomable how much love you have for your baby. I actually tell him that I think he got cuter from the time he went to bed until the time he woke up. I am so glad this experience is part of my story. This love is part of me.
Wednesday, June 12, 2013
Solid foods: baby lead weaning
We started our little guy on solid foods when he was about 6 months and one week old. the extra week because we were traveling and it was more convenient for us to wait until we got home. Although on our trip, my brother and sister in law suggest that I feed him a sweet potato fry when we were out for dinner one night. Ummmm...no. But they did say it's always different for your first than your second. But I didn't want a fried food to be his first. But sweet potato was indeed his first food. Organic, baked but I think just in the microwave. He didn't care for it...of course. I tried a few more things and he just didn't seem in to it.
Then one day as I was munching on a baguette, as one does in Montreal, and he seemed really interested. So I gave him a hunk and he loved it. Just gummed it really, not much swallowing but it was much more enjoyable. Parents in my parent groups had talked about 'baby lead weaning' but I didn't know much about it and it sounded like an odd concept, or more accurately and odd title. But don't let the name fool you, it's basically just independent eating and letting the baby choose how much of solids they eat. Because BLW, as they call it, encourages your baby to eat whatever your eating, I was really drawn to it. I liked the idea of variety, exploration, learning of textures and tastes. So one day while out for lunch I gave him some veggies, bread and pulled pork. All hits.
We did this a couple times a day for a few weeks. I'd give him what we were eating or I'd have some veggies lightly steamed so he could more easily eat it. And fruit cut up. This guy just loves pear spears. It was really fun to watch him figure stuff out and spit out pieces that were too big. We did everything: carrots, zuc, cheese, tomato, pancake, hamburger, falafel.
We were bracing ourselves for disgusting poops (yes, let's face it, we're parents and talk about poo and pee far too often now. Although as a dog parent that started a long time ago for me). And none came. And that was the problem. Or was it? Our babe didn't seem like he was in discomfort but he'd go lots of days (I think 5 was the most) without pooping. I wondered where in the world it was being stored, he was eating (or gumming) lots of food. And breastmilk. So sadly, the last couple poos he's had make him cry a little as he passes them. I am not sure if it's because he's not used to being aware of what he's doing or they actually hurt. But crying while he poops makes this mama want to cry. And I had to do things to help the little guy out (no details).
Besides that solid foods and BLW was going wonderfully and I was really enjoying eating with my son. Then I went to a cafe and got soup. Ok, BLW, my baby should eat what I eat. So I happily spooned the pea soup into his mouth in between my own bites. He was crazy for it. Then I thought I'd really like him to eat fatty fat yogurt (and its so delicious here. skip ice cream, go with yogurt) especially because he needs to pack on some pounds. another spoon fed food. Soon enough, I created a monster. He wants the mush now. He realizes it's a easier and a faster way to get full. He cries for it. I am hoping it's just a phase because I miss throwing long spears of different foods in front of him and watching him explore for awhile. I obviously cannot deny my baby mushed food, soups, purees when he's asking for them but I did like being able to just give him some of what I had. Tonight I did soup (carrot and sweet potato), then yogurt, then I gave him the spears to explore and that seemed to work. I hope I can continue feeding him what I eat because I am not ready to go into making food specifically for him when there is so much good food out there to explore and eat.
Then one day as I was munching on a baguette, as one does in Montreal, and he seemed really interested. So I gave him a hunk and he loved it. Just gummed it really, not much swallowing but it was much more enjoyable. Parents in my parent groups had talked about 'baby lead weaning' but I didn't know much about it and it sounded like an odd concept, or more accurately and odd title. But don't let the name fool you, it's basically just independent eating and letting the baby choose how much of solids they eat. Because BLW, as they call it, encourages your baby to eat whatever your eating, I was really drawn to it. I liked the idea of variety, exploration, learning of textures and tastes. So one day while out for lunch I gave him some veggies, bread and pulled pork. All hits.
We did this a couple times a day for a few weeks. I'd give him what we were eating or I'd have some veggies lightly steamed so he could more easily eat it. And fruit cut up. This guy just loves pear spears. It was really fun to watch him figure stuff out and spit out pieces that were too big. We did everything: carrots, zuc, cheese, tomato, pancake, hamburger, falafel.
We were bracing ourselves for disgusting poops (yes, let's face it, we're parents and talk about poo and pee far too often now. Although as a dog parent that started a long time ago for me). And none came. And that was the problem. Or was it? Our babe didn't seem like he was in discomfort but he'd go lots of days (I think 5 was the most) without pooping. I wondered where in the world it was being stored, he was eating (or gumming) lots of food. And breastmilk. So sadly, the last couple poos he's had make him cry a little as he passes them. I am not sure if it's because he's not used to being aware of what he's doing or they actually hurt. But crying while he poops makes this mama want to cry. And I had to do things to help the little guy out (no details).
Besides that solid foods and BLW was going wonderfully and I was really enjoying eating with my son. Then I went to a cafe and got soup. Ok, BLW, my baby should eat what I eat. So I happily spooned the pea soup into his mouth in between my own bites. He was crazy for it. Then I thought I'd really like him to eat fatty fat yogurt (and its so delicious here. skip ice cream, go with yogurt) especially because he needs to pack on some pounds. another spoon fed food. Soon enough, I created a monster. He wants the mush now. He realizes it's a easier and a faster way to get full. He cries for it. I am hoping it's just a phase because I miss throwing long spears of different foods in front of him and watching him explore for awhile. I obviously cannot deny my baby mushed food, soups, purees when he's asking for them but I did like being able to just give him some of what I had. Tonight I did soup (carrot and sweet potato), then yogurt, then I gave him the spears to explore and that seemed to work. I hope I can continue feeding him what I eat because I am not ready to go into making food specifically for him when there is so much good food out there to explore and eat.
Tuesday, June 4, 2013
Funny Montreal Mama and Papa post on listserve
My explanation to my friends
Hi. You might remember me. You might not. Just in case, my name is Constance and yes, I'm still alive. I go by another name now too however. It's MAMA. Yes, I know it's been a while. We don't talk much anymore. It may be even months since we had our last conversation. But just so you know, I'm still here. And I'm still me.
I know I'm vague now when and if we talk. Things like, "yeah that sounds great, give me a call and I'll let you know" or " it's hard to get Everyone out the door on time but ill try" or even the all mighty " we're soooo broke now, maybe next time?" Seem to spill out of my mouth more often than not. I just wanted to let you know, it's all true. No money, no time, and no socializing. That's part of my life now. Not all of it, but yes, a big part of it.
It's not as if I don't want to go to this awesome ladies night that has super cheap drinks and great dancing until 3 am. That sounds fucking awesome. Please, please invite me. Just a heads up; I will probably have to say no. Every fibre of my party girl from years gone by is screaming 'Yes! Yes! You can dance and drink all night! You love to do that! And you have those incredibly gorgeous heels you bought on an impulse 8 months ago THAT YOU'VE NEVER WORN what a perfect time to wear them! And you have a dress that will work so well. And your hair and make up will be perfection, come on! You got to go! '
And then the mom in me says
' Yeah, right. Go on, go dance all night. Drink up butter cup, lap that happy juice right up. You know what's going to happen if you do? Tomorrow, when you want to sleep in? He's going to wake up EXTRA early, just out of spite. You weren't here to put him to bed, he missed you. And your husband is going to pretend to still be asleep and not hear it. How can he not hear he screaming? he must be dead, or at least he better be because your hungover like youve never been before. Oh and by the way, while you we're out blowing off steam and having fun, your husband decided to cook. He used every single pot, pan, spoon, and glass in the cupboards. And he left them everywhere, have fun on you scavenger hunt because your kid found them first. Surprise! Duck confit for breakfast! Good luck getting grease out of you're bed sheets, that shits never coming out. And what's that smell? Oh, it's just his diaper; smeared all over his crib and on the rug. It's okay though. It's not like you paid a ridiculous amount of money for that stupid carpet that you can't vacuum because of the stupid robot vacuum that was supposed to make your life easier and takes 4 hours to do a room the size of a closet. And that pounding in your head? Just take 19 Advil and you'll feel better. Wash them down with old milk that he didn't finish. Enjoy, you just had breakfast too! That's just chewed up peanut butt toast In the bottom of the glass that he didn't want to eat. And don't forget to clean up the cat puke that your husband keeps stepping over pretending not to see after he got up an hour after you did. Still retching from cleaning up the shit bomb that went off in the baby's room? Have fun! Remember its only 9 am!"
Yeah, that's my devil/angle on the shoulders battle I have every time you ask me out. The problem is i can't figure out which is which. The details aren't always the same, but that pretty much sums it up.
But please, don't forget about me. I miss you. I miss the old me. Not that the new me isn't fantastic and amazing; I think I'm pretty much the same. I just have bigger things on my plate now. I'm "responsible" now for someone else's well being. That's some fucking scary shit right there. Me? Really? Who would have thunk it? But it's not all that hard......and at the same time it's almost impossible every day.
I do love being a mom though. It is pretty freaking amazing waking up to someone who is always ecstatic to start the day with you. Always happy and smiling, running to show me whatever. A bug this time maybe. Falling because he was too excited and ran too fast. Running to me crying to kiss it better and babbling in baby what I can only assume means ' It was the bugs fault I fell!' Then I kiss it better and the tears magically stop and the smiles come back and we look at the bug that he squashed when he fell on it. He's so amazing and wonderful and I would fight a genetically modified shark/bear/spider/zombie combo to the death for him. No questioned asked. And I would win. You know why? Because I have NEVER in my life loved something as much as this little suicide machine. He is my life now. No matter what, he comes first.
And that's why I say no most of the time. Not because I've "changed" ( even though I have, but not like you think.) and not because I'm "different since I've had the baby" but because this little man, this little poop factory on two feet has made me realize that sometimes it's nice to sing someone to sleep (every night) or that waking up at god knows what hour means I get to spend more time with him. It is crazy how much you DO change but so much stays the same.
So hey! Think of me! Call me, text me, Facebook me, whatever you gotta do! I will say yes; eventually. Please! I'm still me! I love to do everything you like to do, that we used to do together! I just have a lot less time to do it now. I need to squeeze a whole other life into mine, and hunny, that ain't easy.
Sincerely,
Constance.
P.s. for anyone who wants to use this as an explanation to their friends why MAMA can't go out, feel free. We've all been there
Hi. You might remember me. You might not. Just in case, my name is Constance and yes, I'm still alive. I go by another name now too however. It's MAMA. Yes, I know it's been a while. We don't talk much anymore. It may be even months since we had our last conversation. But just so you know, I'm still here. And I'm still me.
I know I'm vague now when and if we talk. Things like, "yeah that sounds great, give me a call and I'll let you know" or " it's hard to get Everyone out the door on time but ill try" or even the all mighty " we're soooo broke now, maybe next time?" Seem to spill out of my mouth more often than not. I just wanted to let you know, it's all true. No money, no time, and no socializing. That's part of my life now. Not all of it, but yes, a big part of it.
It's not as if I don't want to go to this awesome ladies night that has super cheap drinks and great dancing until 3 am. That sounds fucking awesome. Please, please invite me. Just a heads up; I will probably have to say no. Every fibre of my party girl from years gone by is screaming 'Yes! Yes! You can dance and drink all night! You love to do that! And you have those incredibly gorgeous heels you bought on an impulse 8 months ago THAT YOU'VE NEVER WORN what a perfect time to wear them! And you have a dress that will work so well. And your hair and make up will be perfection, come on! You got to go! '
And then the mom in me says
' Yeah, right. Go on, go dance all night. Drink up butter cup, lap that happy juice right up. You know what's going to happen if you do? Tomorrow, when you want to sleep in? He's going to wake up EXTRA early, just out of spite. You weren't here to put him to bed, he missed you. And your husband is going to pretend to still be asleep and not hear it. How can he not hear he screaming? he must be dead, or at least he better be because your hungover like youve never been before. Oh and by the way, while you we're out blowing off steam and having fun, your husband decided to cook. He used every single pot, pan, spoon, and glass in the cupboards. And he left them everywhere, have fun on you scavenger hunt because your kid found them first. Surprise! Duck confit for breakfast! Good luck getting grease out of you're bed sheets, that shits never coming out. And what's that smell? Oh, it's just his diaper; smeared all over his crib and on the rug. It's okay though. It's not like you paid a ridiculous amount of money for that stupid carpet that you can't vacuum because of the stupid robot vacuum that was supposed to make your life easier and takes 4 hours to do a room the size of a closet. And that pounding in your head? Just take 19 Advil and you'll feel better. Wash them down with old milk that he didn't finish. Enjoy, you just had breakfast too! That's just chewed up peanut butt toast In the bottom of the glass that he didn't want to eat. And don't forget to clean up the cat puke that your husband keeps stepping over pretending not to see after he got up an hour after you did. Still retching from cleaning up the shit bomb that went off in the baby's room? Have fun! Remember its only 9 am!"
Yeah, that's my devil/angle on the shoulders battle I have every time you ask me out. The problem is i can't figure out which is which. The details aren't always the same, but that pretty much sums it up.
But please, don't forget about me. I miss you. I miss the old me. Not that the new me isn't fantastic and amazing; I think I'm pretty much the same. I just have bigger things on my plate now. I'm "responsible" now for someone else's well being. That's some fucking scary shit right there. Me? Really? Who would have thunk it? But it's not all that hard......and at the same time it's almost impossible every day.
I do love being a mom though. It is pretty freaking amazing waking up to someone who is always ecstatic to start the day with you. Always happy and smiling, running to show me whatever. A bug this time maybe. Falling because he was too excited and ran too fast. Running to me crying to kiss it better and babbling in baby what I can only assume means ' It was the bugs fault I fell!' Then I kiss it better and the tears magically stop and the smiles come back and we look at the bug that he squashed when he fell on it. He's so amazing and wonderful and I would fight a genetically modified shark/bear/spider/zombie combo to the death for him. No questioned asked. And I would win. You know why? Because I have NEVER in my life loved something as much as this little suicide machine. He is my life now. No matter what, he comes first.
And that's why I say no most of the time. Not because I've "changed" ( even though I have, but not like you think.) and not because I'm "different since I've had the baby" but because this little man, this little poop factory on two feet has made me realize that sometimes it's nice to sing someone to sleep (every night) or that waking up at god knows what hour means I get to spend more time with him. It is crazy how much you DO change but so much stays the same.
So hey! Think of me! Call me, text me, Facebook me, whatever you gotta do! I will say yes; eventually. Please! I'm still me! I love to do everything you like to do, that we used to do together! I just have a lot less time to do it now. I need to squeeze a whole other life into mine, and hunny, that ain't easy.
Sincerely,
Constance.
P.s. for anyone who wants to use this as an explanation to their friends why MAMA can't go out, feel free. We've all been there
Monday, June 3, 2013
Parenting as solicited by my friends on Facebook
Every once in awhile my friends will send out a call for help on Facebook wondering about how to do something with their kids. I have even done this on occasion to ask about a product to buy, etc. It's like your own source of reviews from people you know and trust. Actually, as I type that out I am thinking I should really use Facebook more often for these kinds of questions. But no matter, I learn from my friends asking questions on facebook. Here is a list of some of my favorite responses that I may (try) to put into action one day (most of them from my friend who just became a foster parents...dove in head first). I've listed the advice by category and will add to it as posts arise.
According to FB friends of friends:
When traveling:
-If your child is old enough, expose them to a new show and then have some episodes of that show for the plane
-Give your child a little treat/present every 30 mins on the flights
-Free toddler apps/games (like drawing and piano)
How to get your child to stay in their room until a certain time:
-provide them with a list of activities that they can do before mom and dad get up. One suggestion: have them make their own breakfast with their own drawer that has their bowl, etc.
-Reinforce good behavior and i quote
'Gotta find a high value "reward" to change behavior. Punishment is not the way we work and for her, might very well cause a whole host of other problems issues. We use positive reinforcement (paired with a neg consequence for neg/dangerous behavior sometimes). If you can find something really motivating, you can save that for following the rule. Loves to back brownies? Stay in your room till 6 a.m. get a brownie ticket. Get 3 tickets...bake brownies w mom! No baking brownies other times. Save high value activities and things for those times. You can't expect 100% compliance and you should take this in steps. If she usually wakes up at 4:30, don't expect 6 or 7 a.m., that's too long. Start with 5. There are plenty of good behavior mgmt books for parents, I know several have been mentioned. '
Consequences of rule breaking:
-the 1-2-3 magic book to you? It's very helpful w incentivizing good behavior and curbing bad behavior. Until you get your hands on the book, when she breaks the rules, take away her favorite "things" or privileges (tv time, dress up time, etc.). Needs to happen directly after she breaks the rule so she associates the privilege being taken away.
-For us positive praise works so much better than negative discipline. There are situations of course we were need that but try to remember to focus on positive at other times. Before any situation (even the start of a day) we go over expected behaviors and when its over praise for following expectations. Reward charts also work great - stickers or for big things the chance to buy a toy, pick an outing, etc
-When we have bad behavior and rule breaking, I try to ask myself why the thing is happening - is it because they don't believe there will be consequences, or because their brain has somehow tweaked out and they can't get it together? At 5, for me, my answer to that question changes. My responses to behavior problems range from losing privileges to putting an overstimulated 5yo in a warm lavender bath or from (very) early bed time to rocking in the rocking chair with me to get a grip and re-center a little.
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