On the Eve of teaching him to sleep

As I write this my little baby is napping in his swing. This is an unusual day since he's been napping for an hour and 15 minutes so far. Sleep has not been my baby's thing. And it seems that sleep is not any baby's thing, unless you're really lucky. You need to teach your baby to sleep (if theyre not good sleepers already) and it's important for them so they can grow and develop. I have become obsessed with sleep for my little guy. He loves motion. Like you've never loved anything before. I'd go on epic 2 hour walks with him just to get a really good nap in.

There are countless resources on sleep, it makes your head swim. It makes you feel like a bad parent, a good parent, and it makes you not know how to feel as a parent. I am not writing this to recommend one way or another but I thought I'd write to describe how I am feeling on the eve (almost) of teaching our son to sleep. Aka, sleep training. We're using the Sleep Easy Approach and we'll see how it goes. Although I have been insanely sleep deprived, particularly so in the last month, I am suddenly sad. I guess this is the first 'letting go' of parenthood. I love having my little guy sleep next to me in his cradle and now his swing (motion junkie). I love looking over at him and just feeling blessed to have him in my life. But I do also like sleep and want to be a good mom and a good wife. Sleep helps me function in the day to do these things. I know it will be hard to have him cry, have him be in his own bed, in his own room and on a basic schedule of sleep but I need to be strong enough to do what's best for him which is teaching him to sleep well so he can grow and be happy. I definitely want to be a parent who lets go and gives my child space to grow, make mistakes, learn, be happy and create his own life. I want to give him the skills to do so. Knowing that it's just a few nights left of him in our room and getting up each hour sometimes (assuming this sleep teaching goes well), has actually freed me up to enjoy it more. I hope to remember this feeling through all of my parenting--letting go will allow me to enjoy the moments more because I know they will pass. And they will be replaced by new milestones and moments. Creating a happy life for baby and parents. Sending good vibes to all parents and their (non) sleeping babies.