After talking to many parents and friends, we decided we really needed to help our baby sleep better. He was having a hard time at night but when the naps in the stroller and carrier even got bad, we knew we needed to do something. This post follows the first 3 days of our sleep teaching (aka sleep training and some CIO method). Almost all of the parents we know, with a few exceptions, have used this method and recommend it. We understand there are a million different approaches. There are pros and cons to every approach. But my husband and I decided to use the Sleep Easy method so that our baby can sleep better, be happier and grow. And so we can be better, more rested parents.
Tips for sleep teaching:
-Use a stop watch because the minutes feel like eternities when you watch the clock. When you can see the seconds move, it seems better somehow.
-Have something to do to distract you a bit, like laundry to fold.
-Best to have some meals prepared or easy ones to make, kind of like when the babe first came home, because you don't feel like making an elaborate meal.
-Have a friend to email or call so you can report progress and get support. I've emailed my good friend and my brother.
-if you are dream feeding, I found the use of a smart phone to be helpful because I could set 3 different alarms at one time, instead of having to change the alarm during the night
Night 1:
We prepped our baby's room to make it dark with white noise and nothing in or around the crib to stimulate him. We did our usual bedtime routine (bath, book, boob, bottle with a little lullabye as we put him down) and put him in his own crib in his own room for the first time. We have our station all ready to record the crying and the check ins. We have decadent ice cream in the freezer. 25 minutes of babbling and the baby may have just fell asleep (don't want to write it to jinx it!). But we'll see how the night goes! Stay tuned...
The night went okay. Our babe woke up 3 or 4 times. The crying was really hard. He definitely woke up with a sleep cycle. Which his lack of being able to go through a sleep cycle is what brought us here, teaching him. He would often wake up just before I was going in to dream feed him. I would then have to wait until he stopped crying and was sleeping for 15 mins. Then I would go in. The crying made my heart bleed. I told my husband at one point that it was almost harder than the birth! He woke up at 5am and didn't fall back asleep from then. We didn't know if it was okay to go in when we was crying to pick him up (youre just supposed to sooth him verbally), but because the book said you could do this for naps, we decided it was okay for sleep.
Day 1:
We are working on napping today. It's supposed to be even harder than the night sleep. Shockingly, our boy has done pretty well. He fell asleep for all 3 naps. The last half of the first one he cried. The second one he slept an hour and 45 mins. Now when I say cry, I actually mean cry, then babble, then coo, then cry. Because you could tell he was soothing in some way, we didn't go in to check on him often because it was obvious he was getting the hang of it.
Night 2:
Our babe cried for about 28 mins with a check in before falling asleep. He almost slept the entire night through! He had 3 cry outs but they only lasted about a minute (9pm, 12, 3), with the 3 o'clock one being a tiny bit longer. I went in to dream feed 3 times. He squawked a tiny bit at 534am and then at 6am we heard him cooing--11 hours after bedtime so we went in to praise him. He did so well and we felt so much more rested. I don't even feel like I need a nap today, whereas yesterday and most days I've felt like a complete brain dead zombie.
Day 2:
If my husband wasn't here, I would certainly go in to check on the baby more often and may be even cave in. It is so hard to hear your baby cry. I have said multiple times that it's worse than child birth-it's easier to deal with your own pain, rather than someone else's, especially your baby's. Our babe cried for about 20 mins for the first nap today and then fell asleep. it is so hard to have him cry but he does just seem so much more well rested and chipper. He was a happy baby before but he seems like he can sustain and play longer now. We are dotting on him all day long. Playing and almost never putting him down. Naps were bad all day. I lost all stamina to handle the crying. It was basically 30 mins of sleep and 30 mins of crying for each nap. And a very tired but sweet baby at the end of the day.
Night 3:
We put our babe down at 7pm and a cry of 10 secs, then sleep. We'll see how the rest of the night goes. The night was horrible. I woke up at 1230 to feed our baby. As I was using the bathroom-he woke up! you can't go in to feed him when he cries bc it sends mixed signals. Seriously, if he could've held out for 2 mins! Sadly, so sadly, like so hard to endure sadly, he cried for an hour and a half! He calmed for 8 mins many times, but couldn't quite get there. So after the third or fourth time he was calming for his 8 mins, I went in. Instead of waiting 10-15 mins like the book said. It's hard to time his feeds-I feel like they influence his sleep cycles so it doesn't matter if we shift him.
So glad that I am not working right now in an office. I couldn't imagine having him cry at night and then rushing him off to day care. I just want to snuggle and play with him all day.
Day 3:
I will finish this post out by writing about our naps today and then I'll stop the woes and wonders that is sleep training. I wish all parents luck in their sleep endeavors!
First nap: lots and lots of crying. We checked in on him every 15 mins, my husband did because we're afraid mama coming in will equate to eating. We could barely handle it. I wrote an email to my friend asking how she could possibly cope! And just as we were getting ready to go in an praise him and a good try for sleeping--he fell asleep 3 minutes before the hour!
Nap 2: He went down 2.5 hours after he awoke but his whole nap schedule was off since he cried in the night. He woke up an hour later than usual--with a time frame of 12 hours at night, instead of 11. but still staying within the book suggestions to let him sleep for 12 hours. he fell asleep 8-10 mins in. and then 20 mins later a little cough woke him up:( he cried the rest of the nap time hour. naps are hard!
nap 3: we did this nap early about 1.5 hours after the last nap, since it was so bad and it was getting late in the day. he feel asleep after 10 mins. we let him sleep and then got him up so it wasn't too close to his bed time.
and so goes the tales of our nap and sleep woes. i doubt this post encourages anyone to do this. but at least it's an honest reflection of what you're experience may be like. we may have a particularly bullheaded kid, like his parents, and perhaps you'll have an easier sleeper. but don't count on it. welcome to this side of parenthood-one we never thought about and you probably never did too!
post script: night 4 slept through the night without a peep:)
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