'So, the sleep thing. First, here is some general sleep knowledge I have garnered over the years;
1. Sleep begets sleep. The more they sleep, the better they sleep. So keeping a baby up so they sleep at night doesn't work.
2. They sleep in 40 minute cycles. Deeper sleep at night, lighter during the day.
3. For a nap to be good, it needs to last at least an hour. This is when the chemicals in their bodies that make them cranky start to be removed.
4. At this age, three naps is standard. Morning, early afternoon, late afternoon. The first two should be a couple of hours each, and the last shorter to get them through until bedtime. Awake time in between of 1.5 to 2hours. Then, as wake time extends, they'll drop the late one around 8 months and down to one around 1.5 or two years.
5. An over tired baby is hard to get to sleep.
6. All babies give clues when they are tired. Rubbing eyes, cranky, pulling ears. You can try to figure out what Henry's are and then he will tell you when it is nap time. M has just started rubbing her eyes as a clue. It is cute, though, because she doesn't have the coordination to always get her eyes, so rubs her nose or forehead on her way to the eyes.
7. Sleep will be interrupted more often during growth spurts, teething and around milestones like rolling, crawling and walking ( the brain is so busy processing these new things)
8. A baby who has had enough sleep will wake up cooing.'
And at 4 months and 3 weeks when my baby's night sleep and naps were both bad, Jenny first told me that this happened with her kids and her friend's kids. And when I told her I want to teach him how to sleep (aka sleep train) because his naps and night sleep is so bad, this is how she responded:
'I won't lie to you--it [teaching how to sleep] is hard. Here are a few things that may help:
-remember it is only a few days.
-it is okay if you can't get through it the first time.
-even as they cry, they will be happy to see you in the morning.
-good to get it done before things like teething and rolling start.
-figure out if it is helpful to do their recommended timed check-ins. For me, I found they just made j and m much more angry, so I stopped.
-also figure out if it is helpful to have your husband around. I discovered that it was easier when my husband wasn't there, so there were no witnesses. He also had a tendency to ask questions (not questioning it, but just wondering things ) and that wasn't helpful.
-I didn't stick to a rigorous time schedule (same times every day), but used the wake up times to gauge when the naps would happen. However I do try to stick to a similar bed time each night.
-don't be afraid to use the emergency nap they recommend ( we went for a drive at the end of the first day).'
Sleep has been so tough for my baby and consequently me. My husband sleeps pretty soundly and even through some of our baby's crying. I wake up some mornings so grumpy because he's had a good night sleep and I am the sleep keeper for our baby. And I am not a good keeper because I can't help him sleep better. And the sad thing, I have no idea what to do. I read books, ask friends, try different things (bath, book, etc, etc). That is the thing with parenting: you don't really know what you're doing, and no one can really tell you what to do. It is the ultimate in experimentation and doing what you think is right. Despite almost 5 months of bad sleep, somehow every night I have some optimism that this night will be better. He'll sleep longer. Go to sleep quicker. And I'll get more rest. This is hardly ever the case. I wake up in the morning with bags under my eyes, exhausted by the night. But when I start to hear my baby coo, I can't help it, I want to be up with him smiling at the world. Rinse and Repeat, every day.
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